Star Wars Cabaret

New trend that's getting my little storm trooper all excited.

This new themed burlesque show in Hollywood is brought to you by Courtney Cruz and I couldn't BE more excited (quote Chandler Bing). Star Wars has never looked this sexy...not even when Princess Leia wore that gold bikini. How many times have you thought about putting a brown paper bag over some chicks head...NOW all you'll think about is putting a Storm Trooper helmet on her.

So get your ass out West and watch Storm Troopers strip. That is entertainment I can get behind (ahh, visuals).

New Axe Awesomeness

These ads rule...makes me want to clean up my dirty boy ways.

Porn: The Sports Issue

What would it be like if Sports Illustrated made porn? Picture the infamous swimsuit issue in full nude...hot.

Well, there is a new player in the field of porn, welcome to the scene Jacques Magazine!

They are about to release their "Sports Issue" and the video trailer they just released is making me drool. Checkit:

Jacques: The Sports Issue Trailer, 'Squash' from Jacques Magazine on Vimeo.

How To Get A Date

We have all wondered at one point or another..."what is the secret formula for scoring with chicks?" Buying books on the subject is embarrassing and I've never seen a how-to manual ever get you in the pants of some drunken hottie.

But thanks to the miracle of YouTube you can now learn "how to get a date with absolutely anyone"! Checkit:

Seriously, there is a whole series of these videos on there ranging in subjects from "how to flirt" to "how to make yourself irresistible to girls". Its like taking online courses for getting laid.

Watch, learn, score.

Food and Sex

What's better than free food? Hot chicks making out.

Check out the latest commercial from Jack In The Box.

Women of the Olympics

Spots Illustrated has released its Swimsuit Edition 2010 featuring Olympic athletes.

Check it out here for videos and photos. So hot!

Cell Phone Novels

Move over porn, there's a new sheriff in town and it goes by the name of novel.

I know that while I'm sitting down on the subway I find entertainment in the form of nudity on my cell phone. But hey hey, times they are a changing. The new trend taking over cell phone entertainment is called "keitai" or cell-phone novels. Catering to a younger audience, mostly teens, this new phenomenon beams a cell-phone story right into the readers handset. What's more is that this systems allows user interaction, readers can give advice to the writer as the story is being written!

Right now its estimated that there are over 1 million cell-phone books and 6 million users. Recently a 15-year-old girl in Japan just wrote a book that sold over 110,000 copies and raked in over $600,000 in sales. Reading is fundamental...and so are cell phones. Look what can happen when you combine the two.

Publishing is fucked...but reading is forever.

A Real Aussie Bum

Perhaps you've already heard about the only Australian lady to become a Victoria's Secret Angel, Miranda Kerr.

Well nobody fucking told ME...so back off.

Ahh, she is indescribable. Take a gander:

2010: Most Desirable Women

The professional poon hounds over at AskMen.com have just released their "Top 99 Women" list for 2010.

It takes over 6 million votes to get the hard data required to rank the hottest of the hot...but only a small crack squad of pervs to assemble that information into a list. We salute you pervs!

In 2009 Eva Mendes took the top honors with Megan Fox at a very close No. 2 spot. Things have been shaken up this year (including Fox's drop to No. 11 on the list) and a new winner has been chosen by the people....Emmanuelle Chriqui.

Sorry Megan...it wasn't meant to be...but you're still smoking hot.

Be Stupid

"Stupid is the relentless pursuit of a regret-free life."

Now, that's a motto I can live by. I'm with Stupid!

Check out this totally bad-ass campaign from the debonair denim dealers at Diesel. They are boldly dismissing the age old adage "don't be stupid". Take a stand and "be stupid" and your life will get far more interesting.

Stunning Images

This is simply a collection of some of the most intriguing and stunning images I've ever seen. Sure, loads of people fancy themselves "artists" and overload our eyes with imagery. But this guy really knows how to please. There are images of everything from smoldering women to fixie bikes to fashion items. If you appreciate taste (with a subtle hipster flair) then cruise on over to JJJJound. I'm still scrolling.

Lingerie Football League

Holy shit!

Did you know that there is a "Lingerie Football League"? Seriously, hot chicks, in skimpy lingerie, playing full tackle football. This may be the greatest happening of our generation.

Check out the full lineup here.

I'm partial to the Denver Dream...so hot.

Dress Kate and Molly...or Don't

Once in a while a great ad campaign comes along. This is not one of them.

However, this is a pretty effing cool interactive video series where you have the power to dress these hot naked co-eds. You pick their entire outfit, right down to the bra and panties.

Alright pervs...go play.

Fat and Happy: Automated Man on YouTube

Yo, Fellas!

Now seems like a good time to let you know that Automated Man is up on YouTube. Yep, an entire channel dedicated to bringing you the best in manly entertainment. You'll find the most eye-candy on the internet and of course, the sickest deals on rad grooming products!

Hot chicks, dancing fat guys, boobs, free beer...oh my god go check it out right NOW!!!

Stop watching crap online and glue your eyes to something worthwhile. Automated Man is on a mission to help you get laid...but until that happens why not head on over and check out the totally sweet new commercial they just posted?

These chicks liked it...


So don't get bogged down in internet crap! Check out the new spot here:



(Note: free beer not necessarily found on Automated Man YouTube channel)

Shower Cam

Hungry and horny...what's a guy to do?

Thank goodness the great minds at Burger King came up with a "singing in the shower" webcam where voyeuristic men can watch a 20-year-old chick take a shower in a skimpy bikini.



Yep, she will wear a new bikini and sing a new song every morning at 9:30 am and you can vote on it. And...if you like what you see, you can win a date with the "sizzling shower babe" just by telling them why you should be chosen.

Its all part of their new breakfast campaign...but do you really care? Good luck gents...and pervs.

Site here.

Hottest Movie OF ALL TIME

A friend of mine just reminded me of this gem of a movie. Now, if you're like most guys you probably didn't rush out to see the movie "Stick It"...a gymnastics based feel-good female power kinda flick.

Ordinarily I'd be right there with you. What self-respecting guy sees a movie like that? Well, I've got news for you...it is THE HOTTEST MOVIE EVER MADE. Jeez, did the capital letters help get my point across? Get your ass to the nearest Blockbuster (if they haven't entirely gone out of business yet) and rent/purchase a copy of "Stick It". The movie is full of barely legal half naked smoking hot chicks bouncing around a gymnasium. Need I say more?

Small tip, watch it with the sound off. Even Jeff Bridges couldn't save the dialogue in this movie.



Oh, and I would give my left arm to meet the star of this film Missy Peregrym. She is sofa king hot.

Manly Things

Do you ever sit back in your chair and wonder what exactly it is that makes you manly? Here's a hint...its not the fucking Miller Chill in your hand (lime beers are for pansies). There are a certain number of inarguable things in this world that make men...well, men.

Now you probably have a good idea of what some of those things are, and fortunately for you our good buddies over at guy.com have taken the liberty and created a list of the top 13 things that make us all super manly.

Click here for the full list or simply check out my abbreviated version below.

The list:

1. Explosions
2. Hot chicks
3. Bare hands
4. Beards
5. Manly cars
6. Tools
7. Guns
   
8. Grilling
9. Beer
10. Manly names
11. Football
12. Manly jobs
13. Manly movies

I think you'll be able to relate to these things on some level. After all, your manliness is in question if you can't.

Feel free to add to this list by commenting here on Automated Man (which by all rights should fall at number 14 on this list).

The Love of My Life: Douchebags.

Is it so wrong that I love Hot Chicks With Douchebags? True story: many moons ago I called into work sick b/c I'd been up half the night reading this. (And drinking a bottle of wine, but that is neither here nor there.)

From haikus:

Hail Hail Xenu! King,
Of Science of Scrotology,
Tom Cruise worships you.

To some of the laugh riot core commenters, to permanent nottadouche status for Patrick Swayze (RIP), to likeomg THE HUGEST DOUCHES ON EARTH...there is nothing not to love.

Fact: I just killed 90 minutes writing this post and nearly had a nervous breakdown trying to decide which photo to use.

Douchebag1, mighty site creator, I love you. Call me.

PS - you can watch episodes of "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" based on HCWD here!