Asteroid, Dinosaur, Who Cares?

Its officially conclusive: a huge bad-ass asteroid killed off the dinosaurs. Yep, sure.

Seriously? Are we still talking about this? The scientific community is absolutely obsessed with "what killed the dinosaurs"...but I'm not.

Dude, that was like a million years ago. Are we really putting resources into mass speculation about a cause? Look, if this were CSI that old dude with the gray hair would be telling you to let it go. Some things are better left undiscovered.

What can science do to help us today? Our planet is just about sucked dry of fossil fuels and we'll all probably run out of fresh water in this lifetime...oh good. Get your white-jacketed, glasses-wearing, science-lab-loving ass working on more important things! I need clean drinking water for at least another 80 years...and while you're at it, how bout finding a cure for hangovers? Shit, if the dinosaurs had booze they would have figured out the cure by now....why can't you?

Useless nerds.

Speaking of Beer

There are stealthy ways to carry beer...and not-so-subtle methods.

Have you seen The Beer Belt? I have actually purchased and used one of these and can tell you first hand how awesome it is. Insulated to keep your booze cold, holds a 6 pack so you can avoid those pesky trips to the cooler at BBQs, a pouch for yer credit cards and a velcro pocket to carry your cell phone. Total dopeness.

Choose from 6 color options (go with the green camo for the ultimate in white-trash chic). Two very-enthusiastic thumbs up from this reviewer.

Boob Luge

Drinking out of keg cups is played out. Why not go classy at your next party and sip spirits from the nipples of this ice luge! You can even get it to light up with optional LED lights.

It takes 2 days for the mold to freeze so you might wanna grab a 30-pack while you sit and wait. And while you're waiting head on over to Automated Man, cause booze from nipples is fun...but it won't get you laid.

More deets on the booze ice luge here.