Fashion Rock

Face it...there is an electric chemistry that will forever bind Rock and Fashion together. For the most part this is a very good thing. For generations the two have constantly inspired brilliance in each other.

However, things have gotten out of control. What the fuck has our generation been thinking lately? There are so many hack bands out there simply known for unique fashion sense...and lord knows this artistic expression of shite has only been aided by mundane and out-of-touch designers grasping at the straws of inspiration.

According to pulse-fingering guru and contributing editor at GQ, Alex Pappademus, the number of violators is getting out of hand. Its about time we called out the top offenders and here are his top 5 (I absolutely agree with 4 of the 5...but that's why I'm not an editor at GQ).

1. Pete Doherty/Babyshambles
With the Libertines, he was half a genius; solo, he's a gifted substance abuser with a songwriting problem. The fact that this mope isn't warbling his tuneless shooting-gallery ballads from the pokey right now is proof that Britain's infamous "374 Strikes And You're Out" law just does not work.

2. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Pure snarling rock-and-roll attitude. As for the music—um, did we mention their pure, snarling rock-and-roll attitude?

3. The Kooks
Bitter, nonsensical 2006 feud with fellow runway-music favorites Razorlight should be cited on Wikipedia page for "narcissism of minor difference."

4. The Gossip
Never mind the ongoing debate over whether the fashion world's appropriation/assimilation of 225-pound Gossip singer Beth Ditto as a muse was a creepy self-congratulatory stunt—See? Fashion is for everyone, even this hideous food-eating monster!—or a courageous assault on fattism—last year's Music For Men was a limp dance-rock bummer. Next time, more basement, less after-party.

5. Pharrell Williams
In your heart, you know it's true.

So that's the worst of the worst as of today. Who will be our top offender next week? I welcome any predictions here on Automated Man's Blog.

I'll leave you with an about-damn-time quip of insight from Pappademus:

Oh, and hey, Chris Brown? You looked pretty sharp at the shows, dude. But we don't care. Looking sharp doesn't buy you redemption. You beat up your girlfriend. Game over. It doesn't matter if your publicist can still get your name on a guest list. You're fired from the job of being a famous person. Please stop showing up for work. Go home and think about your mistakes. Forever.